Overanalyse this

Despite the plans to divert my thoughts elsewhere, this two week wait is dragging.  Unlike in the first two, I have had a positive feeling about this whole cycle. I know this means a longer distance to fall if it’s a negative. The stakes feel higher now and I haven’t been managing my expectations as carefully as before.

I’m trying not to analyse things that would probably be happening in my body anyway but it’s a battle. I’m a little bit crampy today. I have spots on my forehead for the first time in donkeys but that could be because I’m on the smoothies big time – plus, I have mild acne rosacea anyway, which sometimes give me a spot or two, though never on my forehead. My sense of smell is keen but then it usually is. In the chemical pregnancy first cycle, I noticed my breasts looking slightly veiny and I’m beady-eyed now every morning watching for this. I’ve been 32/34A all my bra-wearing life, so bigger boobs in pregnancy would be a huge novelty for me (though what a waste!). Even making it to a B cup would be intriguing.

I was out today (warning: TMI coming up – skip to next paragraph if queasy) and felt watery discharge, which in the last two cycles happened around the blood test. The test is still a week off at the mo. When I got home, it wasn’t the watery stuff of both those times but a creamier mucous. You could drive yourself mental looking this stuff up, so I’m not going to. It would probably be about as useful as reading tea leaves or animal entrails for me, as I haven’t paid attention over the years to what’s normal for me at different times. I did learn recently that the watery discharge I experienced in those last cycles that makes you “feel as though you’ve leaked urine in your underwear” (as explained on this babycenter.com page on Tracking your cervical mucus) is a normal part of many women’s cycles, just hadn’t featured in mine until I started taking fertility drugs.

Who knows if anything is going on in this body of mine at all.

I haven’t been unproductive though. Joining the trio of Aran cushion covers and of chunky knit scarves:

three chunky knit scarves in lilac, red and purple
we now have Knock yourself up knits #7, this cable hot-water bottle cover:

cable knit hot water bottle cover

I really love its little turtleneck, jazzy.

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This entry was posted in biological clock, donor insemination, fertility clinic, Intrauterine insemination, IUI, pregnancy, single mom, single mother by choice, single motherhood, single mum, solo mom, sperm donor, trying to conceive, ttc and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to Overanalyse this

  1. You are an amazing knitter! I don’t have this in common with you–knitting stresses me out and my stitches are all uneven. But what we do have in common is that: I have also felt positive throughout this cycle. I also have weird underground pimples, I bought five more vials today just for the good karma. Good luck!

    • Choice says:

      Never thought I’d welcome pimples! Great idea on the vials – maybe it will all turn out like Beth Jones’ Three Wishes! Good luck with the next week of mental torture…

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