No, not about knitting.
Little to report. My period arrived yesterday, five days after the negative blood test and two days later than my smartphone app predicted. It was preceded by a couple of days of extreme abdominal discomfort in which I felt as if my left side was about to explode. If this is what other girls experience as PMS, I say thanks but no thanks.
Its arrival was then followed by very severe cramps that kept me awake for much of last night. I had to scrabble around at 3am for peppermint oil and massage it into my abdomen in almond oil to be able to sleep in the wee hours. How would she manage childbirth, you ask.
I can’t say all this is definitely down to the drugs but it is very unusual for me. The three glasses of wine last night probably didn’t help, mind you. At least things are back to normal now.
In terms of what to do next, I’m not talking to the clinic for the next week or so. I need some mental head space for now. Armed with info after I’ve talked to the consultant I’ll decide a course of action.
I’m not taking a complete break, as I’m currently reading three single motherhood by choice books I ordered from Amazon:
Single Mothers by Choice by Jane Mattes
Choosing Single Motherhood by Mikki Morrissette
Single by Chance Mothers by Choice: How Women are Choosing Parenthood without Marriage and Creating the New American Family by Rosanna Hertz
I’ve finished the Jane Mattes book, which although a little outdated was very useful, particularly the chapters on “The Daddy Issue” and “Special Child Development Issues for Children of Single Mothers by Choice”. I’m now ploughing through the Mikki Morrissette book, which is excellent and based on tons of up-to-date research and interviews. It’s reassuring to see that most women have the same concerns about whether this choice is unfair to the children.
It’s difficult, as much of the research out there on the effects of growing up without a father isn’t specific to the children of SMCs but is about children who’ve experienced divorce etc. So, from our point of view it all has to be read with many caveats. I guess it will be some years before there’s a large enough body of research specifically about SMC families to provide meaningful information.
Overall, it seems that ensuring a stable living environment, consciously providing positive male role models and building a village of support are really important.
In non-SMC related news, I saw “Flight” yesterday. A great film about addiction. Denzel is a really great actor. And still looking mighty fine at 58 – lucky Mrs Washington.