… but for all the wrong reasons.
I waited in vain for a natural bleed all week and, when it didn’t come, Dr. L gave me a letter of referral/scan for the public maternity hospital.
I turned up at Casualty yesterday and registered as a new patient with all my details. They gave me a thick folder with lots of sections that would deal with my antenatal visits, blood tests, scans, labour details etc, none of which will happen. This is the first time I’ve been asked about the father of my baby and for my date of marriage, all of which remained blank. Surely time to update these fields to cater for the array of modern families?
I was sent off to a very sympathetic midwife, who explained that the doctor would most likely demand a scan from the hospital before any intervention. So, up two floors I went to the ultrasound department, where one of the girls at the reception desk I recognised from a Spanish language meetup I did some years ago. I went to the other window and was sent to waiting room B, which was completely empty except for three ancient copies of National Geographic, unlike the much larger waiting room A.
It was about a 40-minute wait before I was summonsed, and only when the scanner called my name from out in the hall did I realise that I had probably been segregated into a separate waiting room away from all the pregnant women in room A, which is quite thoughtful and not what I was expecting.
The scanner lady was lovely and, I imagine, a bit relieved that I was lighthearted and not upset and that I knew the pregnancy was gone. I explained to her that, for me, it was amazing to have seen any life in there at all.
Another surprise at this scan. She couldn’t find the identical twin, in other words came to the same conclusion as Dr K at my eight-week viability scan. She saw one embryo at six weeks two days and searched in vain for the second one. I showed her on Dr L’s scan the grey area that was supposed to be the twin measuring seven weeks three days and she didn’t see it.
So, I’m now totally confused, though ultimately it doesn’t really matter any more.
This thing is going to drag out much longer than I would have hoped. Legally, they have to leave a week between two scans before any intervention, so I have a second scan next Wednesday morning, after which they will give me either drugs to induce a miscarriage or a date for an ERPC.
ERPC, Evacuation of Retained Products of Conception – what a great term. At least dilation and curettage had a bit of Gallic mystery to it.
Half of me hopes it might still happen naturally but I had a quick look online last night about natural ways to induce miscarriage and saw some not nice stories about material being left behind and very messy consequences. Plus, some very painful and distressing miscarriages. Then, I also saw some not nice stories about D&Cs that went wrong. So, I stopped reading. My instinct is that an ERPC would be cleaner and safer. I could also ask about the option of sending the embryo off for genetic testing to give us some more information to work with. My health insurance won’t cover this but I think I’m willing to pay a grand to find out what went wrong.
I’m a bit weary, I will admit. I started this cycle on 5 January and won’t be able to draw a line under it until mid-April at this rate. I really would just like to move on now.