Low expectations

Best hold off eating until after reading this post.

My ghost-like cramps became stronger on Tuesday (25dp5dt) and I noticed a little red-orange blood when wiping before going to bed. My limbs were shaking with exhaustion, as they had been all day Monday, making me think something, good or bad, was going on. I wore a pad on Tuesday night and there was nothing the next day – except a whole new, delightful twist on the Crinone: the revolting clumps we are all accustomed to had turned dark-brown with old blood. It was like a peat bog up there, completely backed up (another occasion on which to be happy about the lack of a sexual partner). I read online, to my surprise, that this is relatively common and that the bleeding might be down to the Crinone irritating the vaginal wall. This cheered me up, as I have definitely been able to feel the suppositories stinging and scratching me over the last week or so.

I rang the clinic on Thursday morning for some reassurance and the nurse, not super helpful, said the Crinone was probably to blame and that this happens quite a lot (though never to me in three IUIs and eight other transfers). I mentioned I was worried about infection, what with all the bloody material backed up, and she said there was nothing to be concerned about.

More red, menstrual-looking blood when wiping last night (Thursday) and, though there was nothing on my pad all night again, the same happened after getting up this morning.

Even if it’s not due to the Crinone, it does seem that many women bleed a little in the early weeks, which strikes me as unnecessary torture, especially for those who have had miscarriages. What’s worrying me is that I just don’t feel pregnant any more. My nausea at cooking smells has disappeared and I’ve felt barely a cramp in the past couple of days.

So, I’m prepared for bad news at Tuesday’s scan while, being human, of course allowing a little hope to remain.

This entry was posted in choice mom, fertility clinic, in-vitro fertilisation, IVF and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

4 Responses to Low expectations

  1. This sounds so stressful, unnecessary torture is right. I hope that everything’s okay.

  2. barrenbetty says:

    Oh god it really is torture. I’m really hoping for good news for you tomorrow x

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