I’m not sure about keeping up the blogging. I don’t think the world needs yet another pregnancy blog and, so far, my experience has been uneventful. I haven’t been sick, just slightly irritated by cooking smells early on, especially around weeks five and six. Other than rampant tiredness in the first trimester (hooray for freelancing – I don’t know how newly pregnant ladies stand in front of classrooms or deal with early commutes and long hours), a few spots on my cheeks in weeks 13 and 14, and some bad headaches in weeks 12 to 14 (apparently quite common, news to me), I wouldn’t really know anything was up. I really hope it continues this boringly.
I was called into the maternity hospital for a haematology appointment and had no idea why, wondering if it was maybe about the Anti-D thing. I went in to talk to Nurse J on Monday and it turned out to be because of my father’s history of strokes. Dad had a stroke during a heart bypass over a decade ago and another one in March this year. Having asked me for some more background on his health and my own, J decided my risk of clotting was no higher than anyone else’s. My consultant has put me on aspirin due to my age, which I imagine also helps to lower my risk. However, they will probably still get me to wear compression stockings for six weeks after the birth, day and night. I think this is probably overkill but will do as they suggest – sounds like fun.
I’m in week 15 and don’t have a visible bump, though in certain clothes you might think I had put on a bit of weight. I mainly wear jumpers/tunics/dresses with stretchy leggings or tights, and not having to squeeze into tight jeans or tailored work gear is a blessing. Naked, it’s obvious something is going on and I find it a little sad that no one else is there to witness the changes in my body. It’s a novelty for 34A-me to have breasts for a change, even if the blue-veined look isn’t super-sexy. I will admit I have rarely been so interested in how my own body looks. I generally don’t have to watch my weight, so it feels foreign to have my body do its own thing out of my control. It’s nice in another way – I can see how women feel a lot more voluptuous and attractive early on in pregnancy.
My family and some select friends know I’m pregnant but most people don’t. I had planned to tell my wider circle at week 16 but I might hold out a bit longer. I like having this secret and it’s only been a couple of weeks since I’ve started to relax and believe everything might be okay. I feel slightly guilty about having lied both by omission and directly to friends over the past 3.5 years but the news is mine to impart when I’m ready.
Leaving aside pregnancy blogging, I’ve wondered many times about whether to blog about solo parenting when that time came. I do think we single mothers by choice have issues and viewpoints that don’t apply to single parents in general and I really enjoy reading other solo mothers’ blogs. However, I’ve never been able to shake off the image of a disgruntled teenager shouting “You’ve been WRITING about me publicly for 15 years?! Oh my God, you totally invaded my privacy, you’ve ruined my life!” on discovering the blog.
(Or, in the case of a teenage boy, as I now know is going to be the case all going to plan, probably just grunting and slamming the door and maybe drinking straight out of the carton a bit more as a mark of silent rebellion.)